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I lost the Husband of my youth two years ago. He was loving and caring and a very good provider for me and my three daughters.

My Husband was Diabetic, he died as a result of complications in a therapy his Doctors recommended. It was while we were preparing to send our first daughter to the University in London.

Two days after he died, his people came and said that according to the tradition, since I have no male child for my husband, his younger brother Chima was entitled to marry me, impregnate me and produce a son who will carry on the name of my Husband.

To me it sounded like utter rubbish because I was Yoruba. In my place we don’t have this kind of barbaric custom. And to think of Chima bedding me, God forbid.

In my sorrow, I went through the motions at my darling husband’s burrial, I tried to gather morale. I thank God for the moral support of my people especially my elder brother Akin. Akin was a pillar of support.

After the burial, I packed my things and those of my daughters and went back to my people. Since I was skilled, I was a top fashion designer, it was easy to resettle and restart life in Ibadan.

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My three daughters are in the University in London and they are all doing fine. I have encouraged them to learn from my bitter lesson.

Marriage is an institution I told them, its a life long experience that is enriched and strengthened by cultural ties and practices. Marry from your tribe I admonished them or at least, marry a man whose cultural practices you can accommodate.

I hope my daughters make the right choices, I hope life treats my girls kindly. I feel for the millions of Nigerian widows who are subjected to ugly experiences that widowhood can cause. Let us take a minute and say a prayer for the widows among us.

Mrs Tope sent this piece from Ibadan.

Notice Board: Quiet recently the Anambara state Governor assented to a bill to regulate Burial rites in his state. Before now, the cultural rites were still steeped in the old ways.

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